Archive for June, 2013

Reality

Posted in Uncategorized on June 29, 2013 by Linata

“Common sense tells us that the things of the earth exist only a little, and that true reality is only in dreams”. -Charles Baudelaire

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the context of being content

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 29, 2013 by Linata

So the bottle of wine from last weekend was left half empty because I brought this lady home. Normally, I’d finish all the alcohol I can, apart from perfume. The snob in me could never allow the animal in me to perform such a barbaric act of gluttony.

This lady is a butch, a suppose. I’m not exactly sure what that means.

I brought her home (she proposed this idea). She cooked for me. She gave me a massage. Then she fucked me. I let her fuck me. I can’t say if enjoyed it, but the idea of submissiveness did intrigue to me.

We meet again.

Being the experience addict that I am, I carry on playing the submissive role.

I learn that I’m not allowed to speak more than she does.

I practice my listening skills and notice how difficult it is to actually not talk at all.

Also, she always has to be right.

If I disagree I have to express it very gently.

My opinion is not in demand.

I have to praise her a lot.

She continuously exposes her achievements.

I have to be impressed.

I also have to be sort of mysterious and flirt with others in a slightly hidden manner.

She likes being jealous.

I have to know how to increase the value of being the possession.

Everything about me needs to be unattainable.

Yet desirable.

It’s a game in which she tries to work out the rules.

I create the rules.

I break the rules.

It keeps her excitement growing.

I have to be slightly unavailable.

Yet submissive.

She decides which wine we are going to have.

I compliment her taste.

She is leading.

I let her think that she is leading.

I ask questions.

She gives clever answers.

I smile and approve everything she says.

Everything she is.

Her ego is happy.

Her confidence is growing.

She wants to shower me with love and affection.

I’m the pretty one.

The feminine one.

I’m the trophy she aims to have.

I am THE prize.

I get bored.

It takes a lot of effort to be weak.

It takes a lot of control to know how to submit.

—–

Power games demotivate me.

I feel the void staring at my soul with a piercing gaze

It’s just me and me and me again…..

I’m content with being alone.

flapjack

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 29, 2013 by Linata

woke up terribly hangover this morning, went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and ended up listening to my landlady moaning about her health for 30 minutes, which seemed to last an eternity..i then found myself agreeing to do the shopping for her today (she’s old and frail). as soon as i could, i escaped and crawled back into bed. after a couple of hours my stomach started demanding food…the idea of leaving the room has become so unbearable my mind started looking for alternative solutions…i couldn’t possibly leave the house through the window..then i remembered that i had a flapjack in my bag. then i remembered that i’ve hidden half a bottle of wine from last weekend to make sure i don’t drink it during the week (an example of my excellent organisational skills).

it’s before midday and i’m already drunk. ideas rushing through my mind…

i think the universe wants me to become a writer.

and eat flapjacks every day.

Pretence

Posted in Uncategorized on June 29, 2013 by Linata

I’m too weak to be weak.

Andy

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2013 by Linata

“I’d rather die giving a blow job, than
die whilst being fucked in a mouth.”*
– Andy Warhol

*this quote is fictional

Power

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on June 27, 2013 by Linata

If u have no control over your life it means someone/ something else does.

You have to fight for power.

It’s never just given.

Love vs art

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on June 26, 2013 by Linata

“Love art in yourself, and not yourself in art.” ― Constantin Stanislavski