hard_er

i don’t make it easy for myself

never have

never will

i was born to an environment

in which survival was my only option

and i’ve been surviving since

i don’t have any answers

so many other people do

so many claim to know the way

i just get lost all the time

but i do know how to find myself

i gaze at stars with child-like excitement

the world is so vast…

its size makes my sufferings

less

important

i hardly every cry

because i’m trying so hard to not be a crier

boys and girls do cry

only for some crying happens to be harder

than not-crying

tears have different value

mine must be expensive

for i’m better at hiding them away

i lock them in a safe….but r they safe?

one thing i always do –

i find sunshine in places where everything seems to be one massive shadow

beam of light means a lot to those

who spend most year in darkness

when i die i want to go back to the sea –

i want to go back to where life started

i know i must be given another chance

another chance for another beginning

start determines the end

same rule must apply the other way around –

i’d like to be right about it…

some go with the flow –

a luxury i can’t afford

i work hard

i push myself even harder

i know that the only thing i CAN do

is try.

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