grandness_not

once upon the time

i was under so much stess

and emotional strain

it was too much –

i had to leave

i didn’t know where and how

but i packed my bags and went

i ended up in America

i lost myself there

i found myself there

i returned

but nothing was ever the same

every person i’ve met

every city i’ve been to

every couch trip i’ve taken

every heart i’ve broken

every time my heart was broken

every view i gazed at in wonder

every story i’ve learnt

every challenge i overcame

every misery i witnessed

every victory i celebrated

every friendship i’ve been blessed with

every betrayal i had to forget

turned me into a very complex structure

and here i am

10 years later

standing tall

like Eiffel Tower

some can even admire

the strength and complexity

of my design

only i can’t help

but feel too big

and too lonely

in the grandness of my own experiences

how did i end up so gigantic?

i didn’t not choose to be this sticking out

piece of firmness

which might be mistaken for strength

all i wanted is to be happy

and all i’ve got

is this ‘uniqueness’

i hate so much

i no longer want to be admired

yet, there seems to be no other option

i’m grandiose

and u can choose to hate me

or adore me

but truth is

i am

too big

for

my

own

skin.

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